20/20

Apropos Rummy’s departure, a pundit had this to say (among other things):

Indeed, Rumsfeld’s dominance of the cabinet and the Bush administration may have guaranteed that America chose the entirely wrong paradigm for the past five years. Notwithstanding the spectacular violence of the Sept. 11 attacks, America might have done better had it not chosen a war paradigm to fight terrorism and instead chosen to employ a comprehensive array of diplomatic, intelligence, military, and law enforcement approaches. Doing so might have encouraged more of our allies to stand by our side. It might also have put America on a better footing to sustain its efforts for what promises to be a generational struggle against terrorism.

Gee, ya think?

It would be great if we (meaning people in a position to influence policy—in other words, they) could train this sort of clear-headed thinking on the present—i.e., flip hindsight into foresight.

But after 9/11, would the braying punditocracy and the M/I/M* complex have permitted anything other than out-and-out war? Is it inevitable that an attack, or a perceived threat of attack, or a bad night’s sleep of attack—or the succubus of world domination—will unleash the dogs of war? It need not be. But how can a “drumbeat of peace” be kept up, so that it takes a huge effort to convince us that war makes sense?

US Rep. Dennis Kucinich and others have pushed for a Department of Peace. It apparently strikes most people as a soft-headed. It is actually the opposite. But it requires memory. And the sad fact is, remembering is hard work. And it requires humility. You’d think that would be easy for a predominantly self-professed Christian nation.
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*Military/industrial/media.

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Better

So far, so good. The House falls from the GOP’s grip. The Senate may end up with 49 Republicans. Fingers crossed for Jon Tester in Montana. Fingers crossed less tightly for Jim Webb in Virginia—it looks like he’s also headed for a recount, but his numbers look better than Tester’s. Also, he’s probably the most conservative, military-infused Democrat running this fall. He’s a ton better than Allen, but that’s not saying much. Let’s hope he doesn’t stray too far from the Democratic caucus.

Lieberman. Grrrrr …

Addendum 1:07 pm: Maybe Lieberman will get a new job—as Secretary of Defense under his beloved George W. Bush. Good-bye, Rummy!

Addendum 1:15 pm: Too late—it’s going to former spook Robert Gates. But it’s incredible how little time it took Dr. Frist to retool his toolhood:

Washington must now work together in a bipartisan way—Republicans and Democrats—to outline the path to success in Iraq.

“… must now work together …” (emphasis added). Good old Dan Froomkin calls that a “neck-snapping reversal from the savage smearing of Democrats as troop-hating terrorist-appeasing cowards that continued right up until last night.” It is indeed.

Update 2006.11.21: Webb has been a pleasant surprise so far—an economic populist first and foremost, front and center. Billmon has the details, including an excerpt from Webb’s Wall Street Journal op-ed from last week.

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Epiphany

It is finally November 7, 2006.

C’mon, America! Show the world we’re not as dumb as we look!

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Bleen

I have been holding my breath this past month, not wanting to jinx the long-overdue electoral retribution awaiting George W. Bush and his gang of miscreants.

To kill time, I’ll write some more irrelevant garbage.

Today it concerns my 1990 Volvo 240 DL. I used to be bothered by the fact that I couldn’t decide whether it’s blue-green or green-blue. On sunny days it seems more blue than green; on cloudy days the opposite is true.

Well, it turns out there’s a word for that color (leaving aside the aforementioned meteorological circumstances):

Across cultures, people tend to classify hundreds of different chromatic colors into eight distinct categories: red, green, yellow-or-orange, blue, purple, brown, pink and grue (green-or-blue), say researchers in this week’s online early edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Now, this is not to be confused with Nelson Goodman’s grue, which is affected by temporal circumstances:

Nelson Goodman is best known for his “new riddle of induction”, which he set up by first defining what appears to be a new color adjective, grue: Something is “grue” if and only if it is examined before some particular time T and is green, or else is examined after time T and is blue. He also throws in, as a bonus, “bleen”, which applies to anything examined before time T and is blue, or which is examined after time T and is green. Now, he says, how do we know that the grass is green and not grue before that time T arrives, and that the sky is blue and not bleen? This is for him, and for numerous other analytic philosophers who jumped into the fray, a very worrisome problem indeed!

The guy who provided that summary (Scott Harrison) doesn’t think much of the notorious brainteaser and provides some argumentative details before offering a bit of “philosophical doggerel”:

Nelson Goodman seems quite keen
Induction yet to show anew
Is somewhat sick as will be seen
And may not be completely true.

Is this leaf a lovely green?
Or is it rather colored grue?
Is the sky above quite bleen?
Or am I right in seeing blue?

I really don’t care to be mean
And have no wish to Goodman skew;
But childish puzzles can demean;
Has he nothing else to do??

—JSH, “On ‘The New Riddle of Induction'”

So … is it the seventh of November yet?

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Weird

My pal Thomas at Newsrack Blog has tagged me. The task: list five ways I’m weird. Now, being tagged is damnably irritating, as we all know. But it’s twice damnable for a person with limited self-awareness. (Needless to say, I have been told this.) And it’s thrice damnable in that the proper task would have been to list five ways I’m normal. For instance, I like to eat popcorn when I go to the movies. Or … hm. Give me a minute …

While I’m digging deep into my icky psyche,* I would suggest the following exercise to all my wonderful readers: every once in a while, switch the leg you put into your pants first. I think you’ll find it refreshing, if not liberating.

Do not, however, attempt to switch hands while tying your shoelaces (i.e., have your left hand do what your right hand normally does, and vice versa). This will drive you insane.
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*Josh. I have no intention of doing any such thing.

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Silencer

It’s hard to imagine a more cowardly act than the cold-blooded murder of Russian journalist Anna Politkovskaya. “The pen is mightier than the sword”—and, presumably, mightier than the bullet. Whistling in the dark. Bullets and bombs continue to make the weaker argument prevail, just as in the days of swords and battering rams; continue to prop the unworthy in high places, continue to make life in the jungle seem civilized by comparison.

Her newspaper, Novaya Gazeta, is offering a 25 million ruble reward for information leading to the arrest of the perpetrators. “As long as there is a Novaya Gazeta,” the paper writes, “her murderers will not sleep peacefully.” Ironically, money may provide the solution—the same thing that can hypnotize weak souls into firing bullets and exploding bombs.

When someone tells you they’re killing for an idea (democracy, freedom, etc.), dig a little deeper. There’s usually lucre down there, or something freely convertible into lucre. Only maniacs kill for ideas—to satisfy the voices whispering inside their heads. And how many of them are there, really? By and large, it’s the average, reasonable human being we need to worry about—the one capable of a contract killing. A contract—what could be more civilized?

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Moonwalker

I haven’t used a conventional alarm clock for years. I have a personal alarm clock named Laura. But recently I’ve needed its services. And for several days now, when it goes off, I find myself thinking, “The alarum has sounded!” (How Shakespearean de Verean!) It seems I’m playing with the word to make up for the dreary prospect of actually getting up.

Today it got me thinking about the natural economy of the English language: alarum → alarm, aeroplane → airplane, and so on. Maybe all languages are like that. In French, though, appartement is still four syllables, last I checked.

Be that as it may, the urge to clip (or simply the disinclination to enunciate) can have unfortunate consequences. Ask Neil Armstrong. For years he has insisted (in his mild, downstate Ohio way) that he had really said, “That’s one small step for a man,” not “… one small step for man.” Last week a kind stranger provided a computerized analysis of the famous sound bite that seemed to vindicate Armstrong’s claim that he had merely swallowed the a. I did my own little analysis of the NASA clip and, sure enough, you can see a trace of the article between “for” and “man.” The homespun astronaut pronounces “for” more like “fur” (and, really, don’t we all? and doesn’t that make us all homespun?), so the phrase comes out more like “furamán,” with the first (furst?) a barely sounding.

Give a listen:

Now have a look:

Annotated voiceprint of Neil Armstrong's 'One small step ...'

Not a big deal, and yet kind of a big deal. The historic lunar exclamation doesn’t make much sense without the a. Let’s hope the correction gets made in all extant transcripts of that epoch-making moment.

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Homer

I was at work in Virginia, chatting with my kid, who’s in college in Massachusetts. That in itself is wondrous. (I think I averaged two phone calls per quarter to my parents while I was in school. She talks with her mother and me four or five times a week.) She mentioned in passing that she was going to see a bunch of actors from England do Hamlet. That’s kind of wondrous, too. (It wasn’t assigned or anything—purely extracurricular.)

“I don’t know the story, though,” she said, with a tang of worry, knowing that it helps to know the plot in advance to help you through the archaic language. (She had read Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, and maybe some other Shakespeare* in high school, but not Hamlet.) So I launched into my CliffsNotes® version of the action. When I get to the part where Hamlet arranges to have the traveling players re-enact the murder (as described to him by his father’s ghost), my kid says, “Oh, yeah, they pour poison in the king’s ear.” I say, “I thought you said you hadn’t read it.” She laughs sheepishly. Suddenly it hits me. “Let me guess: you saw it on The Simpsons.”

Because this isn’t the first time it’s happened. This past summer we were watching an episode of The Twilight Zone, the one where Billy Mumy plays a kid who is all-powerful and gets very cranky when people express, or even think, unhappy thoughts, and my apparently clairvoyant daughter says, “He’ll send them to the corn field.” And sure enough, he does (where they die, of course). And sure enough, she got that bit of prescience from The Simpsons.

It turns out I’m not the only one who’s experienced this odd reverse allusionizing in the younger generation. In a recent issue of The London Review of Books, Joanna Biggs opens a review with this anecdote:

I watched The Godfather for the first time with my little brother. I’d been worried he was too young for it, but that was before we got to the notorious scene in which the camera starts out hovering over Jack Woltz’s pool, climbs into his bedroom, then crawls up his sleeping body, finally pausing at a smear of blood at the top edge of his blanket. At this point, my brother announced that there would be a horse’s head under the blanket. I found it hard to believe that a ten-year-old who’d never seen the film knew what would happen next. I turned back to the screen. Woltz wakes up and, noticing the smear, starts drawing back the blanket to reveal a pool of blood. He pulls the blanket back further, and discovers a horse’s head at the foot of the bed, its glossy brown nose facing us, glassy eye to the ceiling. I turned back to my brother and asked him how he’d known. “The same thing happened in The Simpsons,” he said.

It’s a strange thing to recognize something backwards. When you see that episode of The Simpsons, you’re supposed to chuckle wryly in recognition. But what if, like my brother, you’re seeing it for the first time? When you see the imitation without knowing the original, how odd it must seem. And when you finally see the original knowing the imitation, what’s supposed to be a shock is now familiar, almost expected. The advantage is that you can be one line ahead of everyone else.

I don’t know if it’s necessarily an advantage, but it’s definitely weird. And I single out The Simpsons because I don’t know if there’s another example of pop culture that makes such extensive use of “artsy” allusions (in addition to the plethora of political and popcult references). When kids nowadays read The Oddysey in high school, they think, “Ah, Homer!” And I’d bet good money (it has to be a bet, since I’ve seen maybe 10% of the Simpsons oeuvre**) they’ll encounter scenes that are quite familiar, albeit painted in bright cartoon colors rather than the stark sun-drenched monochrome of the other Homer.
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*Sorry—I meant de Vere.
**And enjoyed it immensely. So why do I watch the show (reruns) only when the kid is around? Hm.

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Misinterpreted

Even before my recent romp through the Susan Sontag wonderland of On Photography, I was a devout photoskeptic (who happens to enjoy taking photos—go figure). This little item at Slate is worth a brief meditation. It concerns a photo of five New Yorkers seated in various casual postures, talking calmly at the water’s edge as the twin towers of the World Trade Center in the background belch smoke into a crisp blue September afternoon. As reported by Slate, Frank Rich of the New York Times wrote that he found the image “shocking” and suggested that the people depicted were “relaxing” and were already “mov[ing] on” from the attacks. Today one of the people in the picture described how the five had come to be where they were, what they were talking about, and how they felt. “A snapshot can make mourners attending a funeral look like they’re having a party,” he said. Indeed. It is particularly suspicious that they were not glued to their television sets.

Rich usually gets things pretty much right, but here he was guessing, and it seems he guessed quite wrongly. One lesson here is that, even when a photo seems to provide enough context, it often (always?) does not. The world is a seeming place, but it responds and opens itself up to patient probing. Photography continually enchants us into thinking otherwise—that the world can be captured unequivocally in a moment.

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Terrific

For fans of the “war on terror,” the last few days have been downright terrorlicious. Other minds more loquacious and quicker with their fingers have explained why they preferred not to mark the anniversary of an attack by a handful of foreigners, noting instead the self-inflicted depredations of the last five years (and counting).

On the eve of the well-orchestrated memorials, which seemed better suited to ratcheting up fear than bucking up spirits, Bill Maher struck a discordant note. He said it’s his patriotic duty to mock George W. Bush:

New rule: Bad presidents happen to good people. Amid all the 9/11 anniversary talk about what will keep us safe, let me suggest that in a world turned hostile to America, the smartest message we can send to those beyond our shores is, “We’re not with stupid.” Therefore, I contend—with all seriousness—that ridiculing this president is now the most patriotic thing you can do. Let our allies and our enemies alike know that there’s a whole swath of Americans desperate to distance themselves from Bush’s foreign policies. And that’s just Republicans running for reelection.

Part of me agrees, of course, but part of me is uncomfortable with mockery as a method of political discourse. More importantly, though, it’s not just George Bush. To get personal is to fall in the trap set by the mainstream culture. You vote for the candidate you’d prefer to watch a football game with. Don’t waste time investigating the forces at work, the deals being made—the real game being played. If you like the way the guy talks, or walks, or winks at you, go ahead and vote him into the most powerful office in the land.

That said, I simply have to post this:

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