Recently we were all treated to the spectacle of George W. Bush not answering a question put to him by Helen Thomas: “Why did you really want to go to war [in Iraq]?” Today the Independent reports that the US and UK are establishing “enduring bases” there. I can hear GWB divvying them up: “Two for you and four for me …” We are supposed to believe the new bases are not a reason GWB went to war. We are suppposed to forget that, immediately after the invasion in the spring of 2003, the US military began its exodus from Saudia Arabia, where its presence was a major irritant. This past week Condoleezza Rice admitted the US has made thousands of mistakes in Iraq, but insisted the invasion was “the right strategic decision.”
Here’s what it sounds like to me:
Cop: “Where did you get that stuff?”
Not-a-burglar: “What stuff?”
Cop: “That stuff—in your hands.”
Not-a-burglar: “What, this stuff?”
Cop: “Yeah, that stuff! Jewelry, cash, classic PEZ dispensers …”
Not-a-burglar: “Oh, that stuff. I found it.”
Cop: “Found it. In that big fancy house there, right?”
Not-a-burglar: “Maybe.”
Cop: “Whaddya mean, maybe? You were in that house.”
Not-a-burglar: [Nods imperceptibly]
Cop: “What were you doing in there?”
Not-a-burglar: “I thought I heard someone calling for help.”
Cop: “You thought you heard someone calling for help!”
Not-a-burglar: “Yeah.”
Cop: “So you broke a window and crawled in.”
Not-a-burglar: “Yeah. What would you have done?”
Cop: “And you didn’t find anyone calling for help.”
Not-a-burglar: “Unfortunately, no.”
Cop: “Unfortunately no?!”
Not-a-burglar: “I mean, fortunately, no.”
Cop: “You were happy no one was there, calling for help.”
Not-a-burglar: “What, you wanted there to be a human tragedy?”
Cop: “So, you think this stuff is yours?”
Not-a-burglar: “Like I said, I found it.
Cop: “C’mon, pal, cut the crap. Why did you really want to go into that house?”
Etc.—the farce continues (for much too long).
