Autobiograffiti

Not only am I getting tired of Facebook (after a mere 13 months of use), I’ve started wondering how much time I’ve already wasted there. It didn’t take very long for me to get fed up and shut down all applications, so if a Facebook bot sends me an egg or kidnaps me or asks me to list x number of fascinating things about me, I just ignore it. And I’ve always been free to not look at new photos, new self-quiz results, new complaints about the rain or snow, new updates on happy or rocky relationships, etc., although it’s hard not to see them. But the time spent composing status messages—well, for that I have no one to blame but myself.

It seems to me that my blogger friends are blogging less and Facebooking more. I don’t think we can attribute that all to the fact that the election season is over (although I’m sure Nate Silver has seen a precipitous drop in his visits). Maybe they’re just living life more, which is great. I know that’s what I’m doing when I’m not blogging.

Still, I couldn’t let March pass without a single post. Being a fundamentally lazy person, and finding myself in the mood to memorialize my year on Facebook as I prepare to cut back on my participation (admittedly modest, compared to some of the addicts I see out there), I figure I’d pull all my status messages from Facebook’s ravenous maw and copy them here as a pathetic but possibly admonitory example of Facebooky navel-gazing. Some of the entries still almost make sense; some elicted rejoinders that far outshone the status message itself. And the earliest ones show just how lost I was at first in the Facebook universe. Does this traipse backward in time qualify as autobiography? Hardly. But it’s something, and that’s better than nothing. Maybe.

At any rate, here goes …

2009.03.28 WorldWideWeber took the quiz “What color is the inside of your spleen?” and the result is yellow ochre.
2009.03.18 WorldWideWeber was going to tell you his fortune, but when he opened the cookie, it was empty. (Actually, that’s an improvement over what he usually gets.)
2009.03.16 WorldWideWeber has enough to do. Y’all can stop dumping stuff in his In box. Seriously. Enough, already.
2009.03.14 WorldWideWeber is guessing that this will come after my name and will make grammatical sense. Yet another minute wasted on process rather than substance.1
2009.03.10 WorldWideWeber almost gave some advice.
2009.03.02 WorldWideWeber :: Ceci n’est pas une status update.
2009.03.02 WorldWideWeber is shoveling the white stuff.
2009.02.25 WorldWideWeber keeps seeing a girl with four eyes and four lips.2
2009.02.25 WorldWideWeber is pounding on a new social networking system to see how it works (or doesn’t).
2009.02.24 WorldWideWeber is woiking hahd to put food on de tebble.
2009.02.23 WorldWideWeber :: the mere act of digitizing Ysaÿe did wonders for his double and triple stops.
2009.02.21 WorldWideWeber is digitizing some Ysaÿe.
2009.02.13 WorldWideWeber :: rebeWediWdlroW
2009.02.13 WorldWideWeber did nothing special for Darwin Day. What an ingrate.
2009.02.12 WorldWideWeber says, “Happy 200th, Gas! And you, too, Abe!”
2009.02.06 WorldWideWeber is belatedly preparing to be Lost.
2009.02.04 WorldWideWeber made good time.
2009.02.04 WorldWideWeber will be swooping in and out of Baltimore and Annapolis. Hi-yo, Volvo, away!
2009.02.02 WorldWideWeber wonders what kvetching was like before there was the word “kvetch.”
2009.01.29 WorldWideWeber is back in the saddle again.
2009.01.28 WorldWideWeber is tired of taking the Metro.
2009.01.27 WorldWideWeber is taking the Metro today. Looks like the snow will turn to slippery slop this afternoon.
2009.01.26 WorldWideWeber feels that it’s not a matter of not trusting Monday, it’s … something else.
2009.01.23 WorldWideWeber :: the clementine was perfectly fine.
2009.01.22 WorldWideWeber really should do something about that clementine that’s been sitting on his desk since January 5th.
2009.01.20 WorldWideWeber had a pleasant walk home from 3rd and Constitution on 20 Jan 2009, with a nice lunch along the way at Wasabi.
2009.01.20 WorldWideWeber Such a pretty ticket! Too bad it worked like crap.
2009.01.20 WorldWideWeber :: Annals of the National Security State, Part 754: Our hero learns that having a ticket to a “public” event doesn’t mean diddly.
2009.01.19 WorldWideWeber :: look for us in the purple section. (To the right, looking out from the Capitol.)
2009.01.18 WorldWideWeber is going to be Malled at some point in the next few days.
2009.01.17 WorldWideWeber
2009.01.15 WorldWideWeber is enjoying the cold snap.
2009.01.11 WorldWideWeber is on a Fritz Lang jag.
2009.01.09 WorldWideWeber is.3
2009.01.07 WorldWideWeber is wondering why there were three Mondays this week …
2009.01.02 WorldWideWeber is trying out the idea of working in 2009. Feels like … work.
2009.01.01 WorldWideWeber says: “С новым годом, с новым счастьем!”
2008.12.31 WorldWideWeber is back in sweet home DC, watching the horizontal snow.
2008.12.26 WorldWideWeber is spending a few days in Ohio.
2008.12.25 WorldWideWeber keeps forgetting it’s Thursday.
2008.12.24 WorldWideWeber is Christmas Eving.
2008.12.24 WorldWideWeber is “working.”
2008.12.22 WorldWideWeber suddenly appreciated, while crossing Key Bridge this morning, that extreme cold is the default condition of the universe (2.725 Kelvins).
2008.12.20 WorldWideWeber is heading to Shemali’s for some grape leaves.
2008.12.19 WorldWideWeber hung around long enough to be awarded custody of a box of crackers and a mostly full bottle of Chardonnay.
2008.12.19 WorldWideWeber is not going to mince words: his company’s holiday party has been downgraded to a “reception.”
2008.12.15 WorldWideWeber finished his last crazissimo Monday of the year. The rest will be merely crazoid.
2008.12.14 WorldWideWeber is coasting.
2008.12.11 WorldWideWeber is not going to tell you what he’s doing right now.
2008.12.09 WorldWideWeber is not so keen on cold rain.
2008.12.08 WorldWideWeber is gradually regaining fine motor control in his fingers after the bike ride in.
2008.12.06 WorldWideWeber says, “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”
2008.12.03 WorldWideWeber is plugging away.
2008.12.01 WorldWideWeber noticed nothing awry in his office after four days away. Wait … that wall calendar … “November” …
2008.12.01 WorldWideWeber has nothing against shopping, except actually doing it.
2008.11.30 WorldWideWeber is still not shopping.
2008.11.28 WorldWideWeber is not shopping.
2008.11.26 WorldWideWeber is busy sending out thank-you notes. (Mentally. Like most of what he does.)
2008.11.20 WorldWideWeber is I found a new way of talking where you put “is” right after the subject, regardless.
2008.11.18 WorldWideWeber is working on the cover sheet for his TPS report.
2008.11.17 WorldWideWeber is watching the planes land out of the corner of his eye.
2008.11.13 WorldWideWeber is not staring out the window.
2008.11.12 WorldWideWeber is staring at his computer monitor.
2008.11.11 WorldWideWeber is spending the day with the birthday girl.
2008.11.10 WorldWideWeber actually watched one leaf on the dogwood decide to “let go.”
2008.11.05 WorldWideWeber is decompressing.
2008.11.05 WorldWideWeber danced in the street with his <real street name>4 St. neighbors. Literally. Really.
2008.11.04 WorldWideWeber says, “Si, se puede!” (Да, мы можем!)
2008.11.03 WorldWideWeber will soon be doing his part to keep DC from falling into the McCain column.
2008.11.02 WorldWideWeber thinks he may already have wasted his extra hour.
2008.10.30 WorldWideWeber still likes spaghetti best of all.
2008.10.24 WorldWideWeber loves the smell of shish taouk in the morning. Smells like … victory.5
2008.10.23 WorldWideWeber is in the mood for some hummus.
2008.10.21 WorldWideWeber is back on track, look out, baby!
2008.10.20 WorldWideWeber is running late today.
2008.10.16 WorldWideWeber wonders where they find “undecided voters” at this late stage. He thinks they’re being coy.
2008.10.14 WorldWideWeber has nothing to say, and just spent six words … er, eleven words … fourteen? (is “er” a word?) … oh, never mind.
2008.10.07 WorldWideWeber is tired of these debates, my friends.
2008.10.06 WorldWideWeber can’t decide which is more unsurprising: that J.McC. is sending S.P. out to do his dirty work, or that S.P. seems happy to do it.
2008.10.03 WorldWideWeber plans to exceed some low expectations today.
2008.10.01 WorldWideWeber thought he was looking forward to the VP debate, but it turns out he isn’t. SP fatigue. (BS tornado.)
2008.09.27 WorldWideWeber watched two candidates spout the banalities (and in some cases, poisons) of the US foreign policy consensus. One of them won on points (barely).
2008.09.25 WorldWideWeber signalled for a timeout, but no one stopped the clock.
2008.09.23 WorldWideWeber discovered he had another replacement shift cable all along. Duh! Now he has three.
2008.09.22 WorldWideWeber discovered a shift cable hanging on by two threads … back to the bike shop he goes.
2008.09.19 WorldWideWeber hopes to gather parts this weekend for his Trek 750 that’s been on the disabled list all season.
2008.09.18 WorldWideWeber hears wedding bells.
2008.09.15 WorldWideWeber was okay with the old Facebook.
2008.09.05 WorldWideWeber Palin … the general tenor of the GOP convention … the breathtaking inanity of Giuliani … etc.
2008.09.05 WorldWideWeber is still astonished.
2008.09.04 WorldWideWeber is sleepwalking today.
2008.09.03 WorldWideWeber is going to enjoy Dulles Airport in the wee hours again …
2008.09.02 WorldWideWeber is herding cats.
2008.09.01 WorldWideWeber is doing nothing.
2008.08.29 WorldWideWeber is pretty sure he’s on McCain’s short list. What? Sarah Palin? The one person with more experience than he has! Oh, well.
2008.08.29 WorldWideWeber is pretty sure he’s on McCain’s short list.
2008.08.22 WorldWideWeber says, “Did I say Wes Clark? I meant Joe Biden.” 😉 6
2008.08.20 WorldWideWeber is enjoying an extreme close-up of the grindstone.
2008.08.19 WorldWideWeber is enjoying a sudden day off.
2008.08.18 WorldWideWeber is recovering at work from a busy weekend.
2008.08.15 WorldWideWeber liked the Nats ballpark, is still replaying the bunt single for the Nats that brought in a run.
2008.08.15 WorldWideWeber liked the Nats ballpark, was glad the Nats made it a game against the Mets … until the bottom of the eighth.
2008.08.13 WorldWideWeber is looking forward to seeing the Nats on Thursday with G & A.
2008.08.12 WorldWideWeber got some big news on Sunday.
2008.08.06 WorldWideWeber experienced the glories of Dulles airport at 2:30 am.
2008.07.30 WorldWideWeber is looking forward to seeing the chiquita and her novio.
2008.07.25 WorldWideWeber is back from the Outer Banks early because of team loyalty.
2008.07.25 WorldWideWeber is back from the Outer Banks early because of softball obligations (i.e., too many of the youngsters are injured, out of town, out of the country …)
2008.07.18 WorldWideWeber is outta here.
2008.07.17 WorldWideWeber is on the verge of vacation.
2008.07.09 WorldWideWeber thinks the Fourth Amendment was nice while it lasted.
2008.07.07 WorldWideWeber was welcomed back to the work routine by a soft rear tire on his bike. Crap!
2008.07.03 WorldWideWeber has slogged his way into a three-day weekend.
2008.07.01 WorldWideWeber is slogging away.
2008.06.30 WorldWideWeber cancelled a meeting—woohoo!
2008.06.27 WorldWideWeber is watching another thunderstorm approach or go by or something.
2008.06.27 WorldWideWeber is finished writing and deleting status updates.
2008.06.16 WorldWideWeber needs deadlines. Sad, but true.
2008.06.08 WorldWideWeber will try to be more transparent in the future.
2008.06.04 WorldWideWeber wants everybody to shut up about Eve. Just shut up about Eve, that’s all he wants.
2008.06.03 WorldWideWeber feels bad for the mackerel.
2008.06.02 WorldWideWeber notes that it’s Monday. ‘Nuff said.
2008.05.26 WorldWideWeber has become a garden-variety photographer.
2008.05.23 WorldWideWeber And yes, she apologized and “clarified” what she said, but geez.
2008.05.23 WorldWideWeber Hillary is certainly making it hard to say anything positive about her. It would be one thing to say RFK won California in June (which he did, although California is not a June bright spot for her); but the implications of her saying he was assassinated in June are clear and unnerving, whether they were intentional or not. She either needs a good week’s sleep, or she’s losing her bearings completely.
2008.05.23 WorldWideWeber has not exactly earned his three-day weekend.
2008.05.23 WorldWideWeber This Slate article must strike those who detest HRC as risible fantasy or pathetic delusion, but the history is interesting: http://www.slate.com/id/2191942/
2008.05.17 WorldWideWeber is sick to death of hyperbole.
2008.05.16 WorldWideWeber is squeezing four days of work into one.
2008.05.15 WorldWideWeber took three days off in mid-week and, damn, it feels good.
2008.05.12 WorldWideWeber bugged everyone by writing in Russian. But she started it!
2008.05.12 WorldWideWeber не понимает о чем говорит своя дочка.
2008.05.09 WorldWideWeber has nothing to say at this time.
2008.05.02 WorldWideWeber has finally experienced Eddie Izzard in real time.
2008.04.27 WorldWideWeber went 3 for 6 and that will have to do.
2008.04.24 WorldWideWeber wonders why folks are so bent out of shape over the choice between O and H.
2008.04.22 WorldWideWeber has given up (for now) on configuring wireless on a Thinkpad running Fedora.
2008.04.17 WorldWideWeber is installing and configuring his sixth flavor of Linux in a week’s time.
2008.04.10 WorldWideWeber saw a whole bunch of netroots, and a few netberries.
2008.04.09 WorldWideWeber is off to see what a netroot actually looks like.
2008.03.31 WorldWideWeber is still doing his taxes. What gives with that?
2008.03.24 WorldWideWeber is contemplating oxymorons.
2008.03.21 WorldWideWeber wonders why people advertise their microcephaly with Bush 2004 bumper stickers.
2008.03.17 WorldWideWeber always wondered what it felt like when the stock market crashed.
2008.03.13 WorldWideWeber harbors unspoken thoughts.
2008.03.10 WorldWideWeber is glad Ecuador, Venezuela, and Colombia worked out their differences in a gentlemanly way.
2008.03.08 WorldWideWeber is wondering where that hour went.
2008.02.29 WorldWideWeber welcomes the lion of March.
2008.02.27 WorldWideWeber is running out of February.
2008.02.22 WorldWideWeber ‘s middle name is Ohm.
2008.02.20 WorldWideWeber is resisting an invitation to play chess.
2008.02.19 WorldWideWeber understands the importance of games.
2008.02.19 WorldWideWeber isn’t sure why he’s here.
2008.02.18 WorldWideWeber replaced the chainring on his 80s-era Giant.
2008.02.16 WorldWideWeber plans to replace the chainring on his Giant this weekend.
2008.02.14 WorldWideWeber has been prompted to avail himself of the delete option.
2008.02.13 WorldWideWeber wishes you could edit a wall message after it gets posted
2008.02.09 WorldWideWeber Sort of like the nineties, but having to do with years beginning with zero (“aught” or “naught”). Some people say “the naughty aughties.” I think that’s a bit much. But hey, that was on our wall2wall, so you’re7 p.s. doesn’t make sense to everyone else. (See? I’m catchin’ on here, baby!)
2008.02.09 WorldWideWeber Didn’t mean to cramp your style. But frankly, I’m a little lost here. Guess I need to start exploring.
__________
1Testing Facebook after yet another redesign. The status box now says “What’s on your mind?” Okay.
2One of the idiotic IQ quiz teasers in the right column on Facebook.
3Facebook used to have the text box prefilled with “is”.
4If you’re a Facebook friend of mine, you know it.
5I had joined thousands of other Facebookers in making my middle name Hussein in the run-up to the election.
6You don’t get graphical smileys in Facebook, of course. Nor italics, bold …
7Among the innumerable pleasure of Facebook: unfixable typos. The solution: delete the status message and retype it.

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