Zinger

Joe Conason is not only a well-informed and savvy guy, he’s also a stylish writer who can be wickedly funny at times. Along with the rest of the world, he wrote about Karl Rove’s “retirement.” (If you think that conniving SOB is leaving politics for good, I’ve got a surge I’d like to sell you.) In the course of his dissection, Joe recalls the memorable speech Rove gave to one of his red-meat audiences:

Emboldened by the electoral triumphs of 2002 and 2004, Mr. Rove grew still more aggressive and vituperative. In June 2005, while addressing the New York Conservative Party’s annual dinner, he fabricated a fraudulent narrative of the war to justify his divisive strategies. With savage sarcasm, he described how conservatives supposedly differ from liberals on the issue of national security:

“Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 and the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers. In the wake of 9/11, conservatives believed it was time to unleash the might and power of the United States military against the Taliban; in the wake of 9/11, liberals believed it was time to … submit a petition. …

“Conservatives saw what happened to us on 9/11 and said: We will defeat our enemies. Liberals saw what happened to us and said: We must understand our enemies.

“It was a moment to summon our national will,” he thundered, “and to brandish steel.”

The only steel Mr. Rove ever brandished was a fork, but that didn’t slow him down. Of course he knew that no Democrat or liberal had urged therapy and understanding for the hijackers. He knew that liberals and Democrats had stood squarely behind President Bush to extirpate the Taliban and destroy Al Qaeda. (Their only disappointment is that the Bush administration has prosecuted this war so ineptly, while sinking our military into the Iraqi quicksand.)

The only steel Mr. Rove ever brandished was a fork.” A perfect encapsulation of Rove (and his boss (and his boss’s boss—i.e., Cheney)).

I must object, however, to Joe’s apparent acceptance of the typically Rovian false choice of “defeating” the enemy or “understanding” the enemy. One would think the latter would be a prerequisite for the former. Then again, Jesus instructed us to love our enemies. No choice at all—how about that! I guess when George W. Bush gets his daily dose of advice from his Father (the one in Heaven, not the one in Houston), the last thing he hears is: “… And pay no attention to my lunatic Son. Love, schmove. Stick a fork in their eye!”

Meanwhile, the venerable Juan Cole had a bit of mordant fun with Rove, Wikipedia, and that beloved digital time saver, Search-and-Replace.

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